My Fortune For a Single Cup of Coffee

I came late to the coffee party. In college, I went for coffee one evening with a guy I didn’t know well. I came home and sat, crosslegged, atop my dresser. My roommate freaked when she came in. “What are you doing?” she shreiked. “I’m wondering what it’s like to be a ceiling,” I said, looking up into space. I … Read More

Donald Trump, Henry II, & CodeSpeak

When Henry II was king of England in the 12th Century, he was always at odds with someone. His wife, Eleanor of Acquitaine, was often on his case, as were his three sons. But Henry thought his loyal friend,  Thomas Becket, would remain loyal when Becket became the Archbishop of Canterbury.  Becket took his religious duties seriously. His first loyalty … Read More

Oh For The Love of God Donald, Just Shut Up

I’ve been known to put my foot in my mouth and chew on it …occasionally. But Donald, at the rate you’re going, I’m surprised you’re even standing. You should have gnawed off both your legs by now. Let me give you some very good advice, Donald. It will help you a lot. Just. Shut. Up. No ad libs. No tweeting. … Read More

I Miss My Waist

A waist is a terrible thing to waste. I can’t find mine. I can’t even find where it used to be. Especially since my husband did a chore for me. I asked my husband to put a full length mirror in the bedroom so I could check out an outfit before I wore it out of the house. As usual, … Read More

Jan Fox, Sanity, and Hillary

My friend Jan Fox is a “yellow-dog democrat.” If a yellow dog were running for office as a democrat, she’d vote for it. Months ago, she said, “Whatever your problem with Hillary is, get over it.” To which I now add, “She’s the only sane choice.” As a foaming-at-the-mouth middle of the roader, I was hoping someone would offer me … Read More

Bill Clinton version 2.0

Former President Bill Clinton stuck to the subject he was given last night at the DNC: he gave a personal insight into Hillary and why she’d make a good President.  He didn’t natter on about himself. He also didn’t remark on the elephant in the room: sex and money.  He mentioned neither. For those of us who remember the Bill … Read More

DNC: Night One from My Recliner

I watched night one of the DNC so you didn’t have to. Yes, I did it from my recliner, thereby increasing my tolerance for blather.  The show was long,  but, for a live production involving singing, speechifying, and a little stand-up comedy, it had remarkably few glitches. Whoever produced it did a good job. Thanks for leaving out an LGBT … Read More

Night One: Patton’s Apprentice and “Ex-Commie Barbie”

Donald Trump emerged from his Apprentice silhouette to introduce his wife Melania at the RNC.  (I personally believe his backlit appearance was an homage to the movie Patton.) Then Melania catwalked onto the stage in stilettos and modest, but sexy white dress. This woman could rock a muumuu. Guys, you can put your eyeballs back in their sockets. Melania Trump … Read More

Barrack Obama: Send Back Your Peace Prize

July 11, 2016 Dear Mr. President Race relations are going to hell in a handbasket during your administration. We’ve all seen too many videos of police killing back men. We’ve all seen too many mass shootings. We all saw Downtown Dallas turned into a killing field. I hoped you, President Obama, would heal our racial divide. As someone who is … Read More

Independence Day Trivia

I love trivia. I hope that doesn’t make me trivial. In honor of the Fourth of July, here are a few trivia questions about the early days of our nation. Answers are below. Which three Presidents died on the Fourth of July? Francis Scott Key wrote the poem, “The Star Spangled Banner.” Which of his relatives was a famous writer? … Read More