Chubby Hubby and Tubby Wife

When both people in a marriage need to lose weight, conflict — even death — can result. Why? A Chubby Hubby loses weight by blinking his eyes. Do one set of eight reps (blink 8 times) and twenty pounds fall off. If the blinking isn’t effective at weight loss, Hubby reduces his caloric intake.  Normal men eat at least three … Read More

We, the people, did WHAT?

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed that we elected Hillary and Donald, as pictured above. I awoke in a panicky sweat. Then I realized an even worse horror. We, the people, all 315 million of us, endured the primaries and the best we could cough up were Donald and Hillary? We have been such morons! These are the … Read More

Faded Flag

The other day, I stopped at a traffic light. I saw an enormous American flag — barely flying– and at half staff. It was faded and worn a bit. Then it hit me. It’s the perfect metaphor for our nation right now. We can’t generate enough economic wind to fly proudly and we are such a mess, we are flying at … Read More

Hillary or Trump? Who is Healthier?

Anyone in the Medicare crowd likely has a medical issue or two, even people running for the Oval Office. Donald Trump’s hippie-haired doctor released a superlative-laced letter. BFD. I wouldn’t let Dr. Hairball near me, but then again, I’m not Donald Trump. I don’t know what Donald is going to release for lab results tomorrow, but like most of adults … Read More

A Holocaust of Syrian Children

As a pediatrician, I had to learn I couldn’t save all the children in the world. I could only concentrate on the one in front of me. Now that I am retired, the children of Syria are calling to me. What on God’s green earth are we to do about them? Nothing, it seems. Even the pictures of the “sleeping” toddler on … Read More

Epi-Pen: One Dollar of Medicine, $299 of Greed

If you or a family member own an Epi-Pen, you know its not a luxury. It’s a life saver, whether for severe allergic responses or asthma. Much of the value is that the gadget is “stupid-proof.” Even a person panicking as their throat closes up can just jab it onto a thigh and hold it there. It works automatically, even through … Read More

Rio: It’s Wasn’t Munich

The Ryan Lochte flap is a lesson in sportsmanship (bad) and public relations (worse). Four guys, over the moon with Olympic victory and free French champagne, were out late partying. Oddly enough, they stopped at a gas station to use the toilet. They “trashed” the men’s room. That’s pretty hard to do, as most things are bolted to the wall. … Read More

My Fortune For a Single Cup of Coffee

I came late to the coffee party. In college, I went for coffee one evening with a guy I didn’t know well. I came home and sat, crosslegged, atop my dresser. My roommate freaked when she came in. “What are you doing?” she shreiked. “I’m wondering what it’s like to be a ceiling,” I said, looking up into space. I … Read More

Donald Trump, Henry II, & CodeSpeak

When Henry II was king of England in the 12th Century, he was always at odds with someone. His wife, Eleanor of Acquitaine, was often on his case, as were his three sons. But Henry thought his loyal friend,  Thomas Becket, would remain loyal when Becket became the Archbishop of Canterbury.  Becket took his religious duties seriously. His first loyalty … Read More

Oh For The Love of God Donald, Just Shut Up

I’ve been known to put my foot in my mouth and chew on it …occasionally. But Donald, at the rate you’re going, I’m surprised you’re even standing. You should have gnawed off both your legs by now. Let me give you some very good advice, Donald. It will help you a lot. Just. Shut. Up. No ad libs. No tweeting. … Read More