We, the people, did WHAT?

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed that we elected Hillary and Donald, as pictured above. I awoke in a panicky sweat.

Then I realized an even worse horror. We, the people, all 315 million of us, endured the primaries and the best we could cough up were Donald and Hillary?

We have been such morons! These are the two worst candidates in American history. And whoever wins, gets to bring a friend. Pence looks like a bobblehead. Kaine’s left eyebrow moves with sinister skill.  The other candidates are morons. (“Aleppo? What’s that?”)

I’ve had it. Me, a news junkie, a civics nerd, a person who used to believe that government could help with a few problems. I’m quitting. Cold turkey. I mute political pieces on the news. Just to be sure I’m safe, I shut my eyes. I don’t read political news. NO MORE POLITICS for this News Bunny.

Imagine my shock on on Sunday. Trump looked like he was trying to contain himself. Pacing, pacing. I wondered if he was trying not to punch Hillary. And Paula Jones? In a camo cap and skin tight hoodie? There are no words.

I think the microphones should have been “moderated.” Mute Hillary’s mike when it was Donald’s turn to talk. And when the time clock ran down, shut down the mike of the speaker. But NOOOO. It’s too much fun for all four to talk at once! Why wasn’t food throwing allowed? What? No burning Samsung phone to hurl at Hillary? And Melania is a pussy bow top. Click Here for the details.

I have Political Fatigue.

The orange hairball looks like he was retched up by Hitler’s cat.  Whether I like Hillary or not (and I don’t particularly), I will hold my nose and vote for her. I’ll even vote a straight ticket! Something I’ve never done.

Why? If the Republicans are so stupid they let Donald get this far, Republican power brokers have no balls. I don’t want eunuch Republicans running The Hill. If you can’t keep your Designated Whack Job OFF the ticket, I can’t trust you with lawmaking.He was supposed to be the Court Jester, and now he’s the Bullsh*t Elephant.

Worse, how would Donald govern with a Republican Congress? He’d overstep on day 1 and get impeached. That or he’d start a war. Trump is truly a loose cannon, with a lit fuse, on a listing ship The Republicania, in rough seas. He’s gonna blow — and he’ll likely take out the bridge. Down they’ll all go. A mercy, really.

We can choose between Donald and Hillary.  That’s like having to choose between Hitler and Stalin.  Or Dorothy and Toto. Laurel and Hardy. Sacco and Vanzetti. How about Bonnie and Clyde? At least we know they are crooks. Oops. They’re all dead. How about Brad and Angelina?

I am so over this pigsty we call a general election. I’d love to elect a general — any general. Hell, I’d vote for General Electric. We are done with mudslinging. We’re into smearing feces. We have hogs at the trough, big, fat, stinking hogs rolling around in their own waste.

I care deeply about this country, about the future, about what kind of world my grandchildren will have. But I cannot listen to or watch another nanosecond of politics. I will go beyond insane. I did my best, kids. Sorry that the world is such a mess.

I will vote, oh yes indeedy, I will vote. I’ll vote on the first day of early voting.

I can’t NOT vote. Not when millions of Americans have fought for MY right to vote. I can’t turn my back on their sacrifice. I’ll hold my nose and vote. Afterwards, I’ll feel dirty. From there, I’ll go to some consulate and check into emigration. I’ll take any first world country that will have me.  Since I voted early, there shouldn’t be a line.

What? There a line? Around the block? Filling the freeway?

More and more, my ballot looks like a free ticket onto the Titanic.