Why on earth are we cutting spending at home and giving $250 million to the fundamentalist Islamic government in Egypt?

It flies in the face of reason on the evening news. First, we’re shown that the sequester will cost American jobs as we cut back. The next piece shows John Kerry shaking hands with a smiling President Morsi in Egypt. Morsi should be smiling, Kerry just promised him a quarter of a billion dollars. But the anchor ignores the incongruity of the pieces.

Indeed, why are we cutting things at home while we keep giving money away to people who a) don’t like us, b) will waste or steal it, and c) are probably doing a giant fist bump over how stupid we are? Would Egypt give us a dime? Not no, but hell no. So why are we giving them money?

Baksheesh is a small gift or tip to facilitate service, in essence a bribe in that part of the world. Here in the Department of State, it’s called foreign aid and has lots of zeroes after the number. Oh, and we get no service for our money.

What will Egypt do with that money?

Well, that’s not exactly clear, either. Here’s what supposedly will happen (according to the New York Times):

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/04/world/middleeast/kerry-announces-millions-in-us-aid-for-egypt.html

Right. What do we have to do with the IMF and Egypt? It doesn’t make sense to me, either. This was a deposit on a BILLION dollar commitment by President Obama. Yo, Barry, that’s a BILLION we need here in the U.S.

We hope that in the upcoming elections, that a centrist, secular party will come to power. I think it’s called the Tooth Fairy Party. But of course, we gave the $$ to the fundamentalist guy. Not smart, not smart at all.

Well, gather ’round, boys and girls, and Dixie will tell you what is going to happen.

1. They’ll spend some $5 million on American flags to burn any time they get upset with anything. (All US flags should be flame retardant or give off tear gas when burned.)

2. They’ll spend some of it on more bullhorns to chant,”Death to America.”

3. Morsi will steal a large portion of it and put it in a Swiss bank account so he can retire to the Riviera in style when he chooses to.

4. They’ll buy more garments to enshroud women, as under Sharia law, if women show too much skin, the men might be incited to rape them. Of course, if they rape a married woman, they’ll then have to stone her to death, as she is an adulteress.

5. The rest will be spent on weapons to make sure Morsi stays in power. They won’t even do us the favor of buying weapons from us, they’ll buy them from China or Russia or Iran. Gee, thanks.

If you think Egypt will be our friends after this baksheesh, you are seriously delusional. We are infidels. We are Israel’s #1 ally, therefore, we are a Public Enemy #1 in the Arab world.

BUT. They will smile and shake hands for $250 million bucks.

They aren’t stupid. We are.

Memo to Obama and Kerry: We don’t have $250 million to spare. We need that money to balance the budget—to stay right here to get us out of a helluva mess we’ve gotten into financially.

Just because we have spent the last half century traveling around the world throwing away money like Mardi Gras beads, doesn’t mean we should continue it.

If you want to know why people around the world don’t like us, it’s simple. We’re fools. We throw money at nations and get nothing in return. We’re so stupid, we just keep doing it. Their leaders are laughing all the way to their (Swiss) banks. Show me one nation bettered by our aid who ended up truly an ally in the last twenty years.

Having trouble? Singapore. I can’t think of a second. Help me out here.

Might I suggest a different model for the new millennium: we pay for results. You show us that your elections fairly elected a centrist, secular party, we’ll give you $10 mil. You say out loud, publicly, that Israel has a right to exist, we give you $10 mil. You show us equal rights and education for women, we’ll give you $10 million. You show us the elimination of female ritual circumcision on kitchen tables, done with kitchen knives and without anesthesia, we’ll kick in $10 million. Show us a secular education for all, not schools that teach just the Q’uran to boys, we’ll give you $10 mill. What? You wanted more? Hey, times are tough all over.

Until then, the money stays home.

Baksheesh? Find another suckah. The Great Satan is busted.